Whenever I ask someone if they meditate, a very common response is, “Oh I’ve tried that, but I can’t do it” or “I’m not good at it.”

That is because the common idea about meditation is that the goal is to quiet the mind (left brain) and when people are not able to quiet the mind they feel very frustrated and give up.

The goal of meditation is NOT to quiet the mind!!! The goal of meditation is to train the mind to focus. A quiet mind is something that will eventually happen all by itself without even trying, it is a byproduct of the meditation, but it cannot be the goal. That would be like telling yourself not to blink, or not to swallow. Telling yourself not to think is impossible. You will never be successful if that is your goal.

The mind (left brain) is like an unruly child that has never had any discipline. In meditation we have to distract it and give it a task to do. And…hear this…you will NOT be able to stay on task, especially at first. No one can, because the mind is not trained to do that. After only just a short while the mind will go running off, thinking about something it forgot to do yesterday or worrying about something that might happen tomorrow……and you might be out there for 5 minutes before you realize you are not doing the task. It does not matter! You just bring yourself back to the task and start over, again, and again, and again. It does not matter if you have to start over 100 times in 20 minutes. Just do it and you will get better at it …. and it will change your life.

A simple task I start people out with is counting the breaths. Count 4 breaths and then start over and count 3 breaths, start over and count 2 breaths, then one. Then start all over again with 4.

Also, meditation does not need to be done while sitting or lying down with our eyes closed. We can meditate while washing dishes, or driving a car, or taking the dog for a walk….the key is to be in the present moment. If you are walking the dog, notice the temperature of the air, is there a breeze? Is there a smell in the air? Notice the shrubs and trees and clouds and birds and cars going by, etc….Again, you probably won’t be able to focus for long before the mind runs off but that’s ok. Just bring it back again and again…..we are training the mind to focus! 15 or 20 minutes a day is fine. That sound like it should be easy to do but you will find it to be very difficult. The mind will find every excuse in the book to keep you from doing this because it does not want to lose control. It likes running the show. The mind, (left brain) takes over in early childhood and it is not a bad thing, it is part of our protective mechanism, it helps us survive childhood. But at some point in everyone’s life, the left brain being in charge no longer serves us and can drive us quite insane. Meditation can assist to bring the left brain back to its proper place, as a tool, a servant, a resource center, to call on it when we need it. We could not survive in this 3rd dimension on this planet Earth without it but if it is running the show, we are in trouble. So it will thwart your every effort to get it under control. But just make the commitment and discipline to do it and it will change your life!

(The 5 reasons why human beings suffer)

Vedanta is the word used to describe a group of philosophical traditions (Hindu) concerned with self- realization in which one understands the ultimate nature of reality (Brahman).

The Upanishads, which were written in about 1500 BC, are the supreme sacred work of the Hindu mind, which form the core of the wisdom tradition of India.

The Upanishads talk about the 5 reasons why human beings suffer (known as Kleshas)

1. Not knowing the true nature of reality
2. Clinging to, grasping or holding on to that which is transitory, illusory, insubstantial and therefore not real
3. Fear of that which is not real
4. Identification with a false and constricted self, the ego
5. Fear of death

All causes of suffering are contained in these 5 Kleshas …and ….all of these 5 are contained in the first one, so there is really only one cause of suffering…..which is not knowing the true nature of reality.

When we came into this incarnation, we agreed to come through the “veil of forgetfulness” causing a sort of spiritual Alzheimer’s. We have this faint memory that somewhere there is a soul in here, we know it has something to do with us, and we have no idea what it is.

We get so caught up in the melodrama, hysteria and illusions of this world that we actually forget who we are. It is like going to a really good movie and getting lost in the movie, where a constricted, false identity is created. (The Ego) The Hindu’s call this “Maya.”

The Bible has a similar message: What good does it do a man to find the whole world but lose his own soul.

There is purpose and value in this amnesia, however, at some point, our soul becomes hungry to peel back the layers of “not self”, and discover who we really are, which is an eternal being. This is what is called Enlightenment.

When we remember …and bringing to the conscious memory …the true nature of reality, it changes everything. We get to see ourselves and the world around us from a much more expanded perspective, which in turn relieves our suffering.

The Soul lets us know when it is time for this remembrance!

It is a hunger that gnaws at us….

Is your soul hungry? Is it time for you to remember?

As I sit here tonight, contemplating my father’s imminent transition out of this life, I am comforted by my knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, of what awaits him on the other side. This knowing fills me with a peace and calm and surrender for the beauty of this fabric we call “life.” In this surrender, I must relinquish all of my ideas of control and of my identification with my small self. What is left is the unity of this physical body with the matter all around me, but more importantly with the space in between. It is that space that my lungs breathe in and my breath rejoins. The space that seems empty is actually the container for everything tangible and is the fabric of life. When the life force leaves the body at “death” it re-enters into the space, reemerging into the very fabric of our existence. “Death” is not to be feared; it is to be revered as a sacred journey back to our oneness. “Death” is not death at all. There is no such thing. There is only the end of one chapter and the simultaneous beginning of a new one.

How do I know this? I have been there. I have seen it with my own inner eyes. Our memories of these chapters are stored within our own psyche and when we are ready, we can access them.

I remember as a child asking my mother, “Who are we? Where did we come from?” She told me she didn’t know and wasn’t sure we were supposed to know the answers to those questions. I was never happy with that answer but she was right, to a point.

We agreed when we came into this life to come through the “veil of forgetfulness” because we knew that in order to learn the lessons and achieve the goals that we set up for ourselves this time around, we needed to forget everything. However…..when the soul reaches a certain level of progression, it is not only appropriate to have access to these memories, it is the next step in our souls advancement.

Having access to this information changes everything. It is like looking at the world with a curtain over it versus having the curtain removed and experiencing the expansion beyond the five senses. Once the curtain has been removed, you can’t continue to see yourself and the world around you in the same way.

This work is not for everyone. But for those who are ready, they will know. They will just KNOW.

Safe journey Daddy, on to the next adventure!

Today I am commenting on someone else’s blog post. The following is from Randy with the LCA Project (The Love, Courage and Achievement Project). I just loved what he had to say and wanted to share it with my readers.

“Years ago, I watched a sci-fi flick that really made an impression. A starship encountered a mysterious force which was immediately perceived as a threat. The crew prepared for battle. For every defensive move the starship made, the force prepared an equally powerful protective maneuver. Moments before impact, the captain realized that the force was automatically reacting to their consciousness. At the last instant, to the crew’s astonishment, he ordered all defenses dropped…and they safely moved on to their destination.

Could this dynamic possibly be true for us as human beings? We know that everyone has a presence, a way they present themselves in the world in different circumstances. If this presence is one of fear, anger and defensiveness…isn’t it likely that the people around them will react accordingly to protect themselves? What irony that in putting up emotional walls, we push away the very love we yearn for!

Can you recall a time when you were in a profoundly loving state of mind? What did that feel like? How did others respond to you? And what did you attract to yourself when you were in that beautiful state of consciousness? So is it possible that living in the experience of love, might be the best shield of protection we could ever ask for?

How do we do this? What works for me, is to move to a place of unconditional acceptance and deep appreciation for others, myself and for life itself. The more I can do this, the greater my peace…greater my joy…and the less resistance I generate around me.

So what are you putting out there? What do others get from the way you present yourself, before a single word is spoken? And most importantly, what can you do to live in that magical place of the heart, where miracles surround you? With love and respect, Randy”

We think we have to be on the defensive in order to survive in this world but as the above says, just the opposite is true. I would love to challenge my readers to try this, very consciously, and report back with your responses.

Check out Randy’s website: http://www.LCAProject.com

I was recently contacted by a someone who had a friend of hers who was involved in a very freak accident. Her friend is a 64 year old grandmother of a 15 month old. She was caring for the child when she had a seizure and fell on top of the child. She was unconscious for two hours and the child was not able to free herself and consequently died. None of her family and friends can fathom why an accident so cruel as this would happen in a life. This woman was asking me if I had any words of comfort that she could share with her friend and family members.

This was my response~

First of all,  my sincere condolences for the tragic loss!  I can only imagine how difficult this situation is.

As far as words of comfort, it is my belief and knowing that children choose the circumstances in which they come into.  The lives we come into are both a combination of destiny and free will.  There is a framework or structure  to the life.  Certain aspects and events are set in stone.  In between the walls of the structure we have free will.  Much of the first several years of a child’s life is framework.  The fact that there was no free will involved on the part of the grandmother or the child would indicate framework.

There could be a couple of reasons why a child would choose come into a life for such a short time.

1)   This was a young soul that is still testing his/her sea legs in physicality. Could be 15 months was plenty of time this time around and chose this life for that reason.

2)   Could be this was a highly evolved soul that chose this life more to assist others in their soul progression.

There would also have been a contract between the grandmother and the child for this event. Both parties agreed to be a part of this, probably for the opportunity for personal growth and growth for other close family members.

As devastating as this situation is, there is also a huge opportunity for growth for the entire family. I am sure it is practically impossible to see any of that now, but hopefully in time…..

Regression Therapy would give much comfort for the grandmother and other family members because they could see and understand for themselves the dynamics around this event, but of course, timing is everything with this work. People just KNOW when it is time to do this work.

The reason we don’t remember what came before this life or what comes after a life ends is because we agreed come through what we call the veil of forgetfulness. We knew that in order the learn the lessons and achieve the goals we set for ourselves this time around, we needed to forget everything that came before, or after. However, once a soul reaches a certain level of progression, it is not only appropriate for them to access to this information, it is the NEXT STEP in their progression as a soul.

I hope this information is helpful.  I am holding space for comfort and grace for all concerned.  Again, my deepest sympathy….

Buddhist philosophy calls for joyful participation in the sorrows of life.  This advice is not meant to suggest that we try to enjoy suffering…rather, it encourages us to recognize that hardship and pain are an unavoidable part of life.  If we face sorrow and suffering knowing this, we embrace the experience of being alive. Learning to deal with the specific events confronting us serves to augment our soul progress.

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of life.

Joseph Campbell

Most of us have heard of this quote out of the bible and understand it intellectually but most of us have not figured out how to actually live it.

To be the observer, the witness and be able to “respond” to the circumstances and events in our lives instead of “react”  is the ultimate quest.

The world triggers us emotionally, up and down, back and forth, constantly pulling us off balance and off center.

Have you ever known one of those people who never seem to get riled up over anything?

They move through life calmly and gracefully, even joyfully and we wonder how they do it!

What they have that most of us don’t have is PERSPECTIVE!

Most of us are looking at ourselves and the world around like fish in a fish tank.  All the fish knows is the limited world that it swims around in all day.  It bumps up against the four walls around it and assumes this is the end of its world.

It doesn’t even know there is another whole world outside of the tank.

Because of our lack of PERSPECTIVE, we make decisions and judgments on very limited amounts of information. We don’t know it’s limited though, because like the fish, most of us are UNAWARE there is anything outside of what we can see, touch, taste, smell and hear.

Regression Therapy opens up a whole new world to us, giving us a greatly expanded view of ourselves and the world around us.

It is difficult to go through this work without drastically altering your PERSPECTIVE.  This broader PERSPECTIVE allows us to move through this life more calmly, gracefully and joyfully.

Clients consistently report that finding their place both in the physical world and the eternal spirit world is the most significant work they have ever done.

On that momentous night when Buddha attained enlightenment, it is said that he went through several different stages of awakening. In the first, with his mind “collected and purified, without blemish, free of defilements, grown soft, workable, fixed and immovable,” he turned his attention to the recollection of his previous lives. This is what he tells us of that experience:

I remembered many, many former existences I had passed through: one, two births, three, four, five . . . fifty, one hundred . . . a hundred thousand, in various world-periods. I knew everything about these various births: where they had taken place, what my name had been, which family I had been born into, and what I had done. I lived through again the good and bad fortune of each life and my death in each life, and came to life again and again. In this way I recalled innumerable previous existences with their exact characteristic features and circumstances. This knowledge I gained in the first watch of the night.

All of our pain and suffering comes from our attachment (or need) to having things turn out a certain way.  If our mother doesn’t behave in the way we expect “a mother” to behave, we are disappointed.  If a vacation doesn’t go exactly as planned, we are disappointed.  If a relationships ends that we thought would be there forever, we are devastated.   However, if we can figure out a way to go through life putting out there what we would like to have in our lives, getting in touch with what if FEELS like to already have it and HOLD that energy….and then…(here is the tricky part) letting go of any attachment to it!

We we cannot possibly know what the universe has in store for us.  It can see the bigger picture that we cannot.  Ultimately, we are in control of NOTHING!  Life is a series of one moment after another unfolding perfectly (even if it doesn’t seem so at the time)

True freedom comes from letting go of attachments to everyone and everything!  That doesn’t mean you stop loving people or stop appreciating the things in you life, in fact the opposite is true.  When we can let go of our need for ourselves… or other people… or things… or events to look a certain way, we come to the place of unconditional love.  We can love ourselves just the way we are, faults and all.  We can love others, just the way they are, faults and all.  And we can forgive ourselves and other for being less than perfect.  And we can have appreciation and gratitude for all the abundance in our lives.  We can let people, things, and experiences flow in and out of our lives without becoming attached to them or needing to hold on to anyone or anything and our cup is half full, not half empty.  Life becomes joyous and easy and free at that point.

When people get on the other side they consistently describe a very specific place of peace and compassion, unconditional love, joy and humor.  (They can be very funny on the other side)  The soul goes there after each life to rest and to study and discuss what the next incarnation should be.  Exploring the spirit world between lives is like opening the doors to the library of the soul’s “eternal’ memories.

Dr. Michael Newton is one of the pioneers of this work.  Dr. Newton is a psychotherapist that had been doing past life regressions for his clients for many years when accidentally stumbled onto a method that could access people’s life Between Lives.   He did over 7,000 BLR’s researching this place.  He wrote a book about it.  It is called “Journey of Souls” and is a must read if you are interested in this amazing work.

My brother Dave never seem  totally comfortable in the family.  He started pulling away from us at an early age.  He and my father had a really hard time getting along.  As an adult, he got to the point where he really didn’t want anything to do with the family.  I never understood what that was all about.

Before  my mother died she took me aside and told me there would be a letter for my brother in a safe deposit box and I was to make sure he got it, when the time was right.  I asked her how I would know when the time was right and she said, “you will know, you will just know”

10 years after my mother died I was in Florida attending a personal growth workshop and during an emotional release process my mother began talking to me and what she told me was…..

NOW was the time for my brother to get the letter.  And she also told me that when she and my father were young, they had gotten divorced for a year.  She got involved with another man, got pregnant, he left her, she called my father in the phone one day, crying, told him she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do.  He told her he still loved her and wanted her back and would raise this child as his own.  This child was my brother, Dave.

Now, imagine me going to my father (who had the key to the safe deposit box) and telling him that mom was talking to me and I knew the whole story.

All of this was VERY upsetting to my father.  He didn’t understand how my mother could be talking to me  and he said he could not give my brother the letter because he had made a death bed vow not to release this information unless there was a terminal illness or something where Dave needed to know who his biological father was.  However, my mother was being very persistent.  When my father stalled, I told him if he didn’t tell him that I would!  This made my father EXTREMELY angry with me.  He told me I had no right……

I had to do some deep soul searching and finally realized he was right, this was NOT MY ISSUE.  This was between my mother, my father and my brother.  I was just the messenger.

I told my father that I would not say anything for now but mom didn’t have the courage to tell him before she left and you may wait to long and something my happen to you.  Then he has to hear this from his sister!  Is that the way you want him to hear it?

Not long after, my father sat down and told Dave about the circumstances around his birth and gave him the letter.  This was a time of great healing for my brother and for the whole family.  It answered so many questions and he started coming back to the family.  We started seeing him at family gatherings and at the holidays again.  And then….he was diagnosed with cancer and two years later he died.

You see….my mother KNEW what was coming and that he needed that information back then, because if he had gotten the information at the time of his diagnosis, it would have pushed him further away from the family and as it was we were all able to be there with him in the end.